I’d Forgotten the Stars

Normally at 4:30 I sit on my screened porch and watch the sun come up. This morning I was determined to see the sky, the crescent moon, the stars, and there was a rumor of a meteor shower. I made coffee, left the lights off, and went out to the deck. With my camera.

I fiddled with the focus, the f-stop, the…Holy Moses, what in the world am I doing? I stopped, sat down with my coffee, leaned back and immersed myself into the sky.

“Where have you been?” I thought to the sky, knowing full well I was the one that had gone missing. Seven and a half decades of looking, not seeing, a trend I’m trying to reverse, or change. Crescent moon, winking stars, early, early glow of a summer sun. A perfect Petri dish for my imagination and memories.

When I was in fifth grade I’d sleep on the grass next to the trees in the backyard, stare at the stars, wonder what was out there, and if I’d ever get to space. Years later on a whirlwind camping trip with two of my college roommates, the three of us camped next to a Saskatchewan cornfield and studied the sky knowing Neil Armstrong was walking on the moon. Way after cornfields, I lived in Iceland and when night finally appeared, I was awestruck at the magic of aurora borealis. But then, the stars left me.

I took things for granted. People, places, things, relationships, well, pretty much everything. Looking, not seeing. If you live in the mountains, majesty is your norm. Next to the ocean…salt’s probably in your blood. Great Plains…space is the way of your world. City, humming 24x7. I lived all that. Emotionally expensive. Physically draining. Exciting. Breathtaking. Depressing. I began to evolve some 30 years ago with the help and companionship of my bride. I’m still working on it. I’m better, but still, I’d forgotten the stars.

Until today. It’s a good day.

The image is the one I took before it dawned on me (is that a pun?) what I should be doing. I’m not an astral photographer and don’t have the fancy equipment that keeps up with earth’s rotation, it’s all I can do to keep up. That’s why the stars aren’t “sharp,” but they were when I was seeing them.