The Thing About Waiting
Have you ever looked at your watch and wondered why time hasn’t budged since the last time you looked? Painful. Bone crushing waiting. Time…a giant anaconda squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until the only thing I think of is the waiting…everything else is irrelevant. Yet, I know all I have to do is stare the anaconda in the eye and say, “Screw you, I am going to live the journey, not the end.” Ha! Easy to say. Almost impossible to do.
I often contemplate hypothetical journeys trying to emphasize the journey, not the destination. (Easy to say) Years ago I had a recurring dream: I’m falling from an airplane with no parachute, clear skies, puffy clouds, ground rushing towards me. Intellectually I know the fall will not end well but I want to use the time to fly like a bird, something I couldn’t do in real life. Typically, I’d look for a lake or a haystack or something to save me from being squashed. Filling my time with wonder and a mission.
In real life, the thing I’m waiting for determines how I arrive at the destination. Metaphorically, I could be running through a flower-filled meadow or wading in a clear stream or sloshing through knee deep muck or straining through frozen snow banks. Just depends on what “it” is and how I look at the “Anaconda of Waiting.” I grew up learning about and sometimes even celebrating the agony and joy of waiting…Advent, child birth, family coming home for the holidays, wedding ceremonies and more. But sometimes, the waiting is, well, waiting about something which might change my life in an unknown way. Test results, child birth, elections, war…
I try to be the master of my own metaverse and hangout with people who love me or care for me so fighting the Anaconda of Waiting is not a solo affair. We all know the end of each of our journeys is, well, the end of our journey… Frankly, I’m not a fan of the end of life’s journey. I’d rather continue flying like a bird, but you know, creativity, love, hope and even a little faith spit in the eye of that Serpent.
The image above is a composite of the Bromo Seltzer Tower in Baltimore, from the inside of the tower.